Swhet Productions

I'm sure many of you have heard of the Google vs Yahoo war. For those who haven't, you obviously don't know how to internet and should be violated and disposed of immediatly. But since that perfect world doesn't exist, I'll just tell you. The Google vs Yahoo war is the activity of going onto Google and Yahoo and typing three or four words in the search bar, and seeing what comes up in the search suggestions. Which ever website has a more idiotic/awesome suggestions wins. So for example if I type "How do I" And google suggests "How do I kill a unicorn with rainbows" and Yahoo comes up with "How do I replace a tire" then google obviously wins. So essentially, the more stupid people the site attracts, the more likely they are to win. I'm not gunna actually go to google and yahoo. But Here are a few of the results I got from google that I thought were worth while sharing with you.

Before I go any further, I would like to add that as I started writing this, I went onto google and typed "Is", the suggestion I got was "is kevjumba a heterosexual bear wrestler" quite frankly, I'm not going to rate my results, but this made me laugh really hard. I mean, the hell kinda name is Kevjumba? It sounds like Jabba the Hutt's second cousin twice removed, that the family likes to keep quiet. And I mean of course he's heterosexual. Are there any other kind of bear wrestlers?

Following that, more stupidity comes with the "Can I...", which gave me "Can I kick it?" as well as "Can I eat my period?" Now my first question is, "Are you Black?" If you answered yes, then if course you can. Hell, you can no matter what race you are, except white. White people are made for flailing thier arms and stealing stuff. Including back beats and other ethnicity's freedom's. I also want to know who the hell asked if they can eat their period... Of course you can! You can eat anything as long as it fits in your mouth. But you might want to freeze it first. But I just have to ask, were these questions linked? "Can I eat my period?" "Yes." "Oh... Well... Can I kick it?" "Why are you talking to me I'm a McDonalds worker I don't even know you I'm on break and if you need something just buy food its cheap and you smell like dead dreams." "That's because my vagina is leaking. And I don't have any money to buy food." "Here's a secret. The food is just cow afterbirth." Now that I've put that disturbing image in your head, moving on.

"Why does..." has a few interesting hits, including "Why does my mum turn me on" "why does my keyboard type é" and "Why does my belly button smell"  I will answer all these questions at one go. Because you're a hillbilly. Even though yo mumma smokes about 6 packs a day and thinks it's funny when you're little sister is gets thrown on her ass because she was just handed a Mac 10, there is still something extremely sexy about the way her wrinkles fold when she laughs at the 17 bullet wounds currently spread across your body. Your keyboard types é because at somepoint during your drunken 3 day BBW porn spree, you smashed the keyboard and made it turn question marks into e's with little hats. You then spent the next 2 hours making a 300 page word document that just said "ééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééé" And you forgot to capitolize. Dumb hick. And of course your belly button smells because your son's (who also happens to be your brother) pet hamster didn't actually run away. You just rolled over on it when you were drunk and it got sucked in. Whether or not it's still alive we don't know. But we can assume it's dead since it smells like Cthulhu's asshole.

Have you had any interesting google or yahoo suggestions? Post them in the comments.